How Big is Your Conversational Graveyard?

​All of us have a conversation or two that we have held off having because the cost benefit analysis did not add up in our mind.  Any group of people who assemble will eventually have a misalignment of goals and conflict and emotion will enter the room. It is at this moment that our graveyard grows, or we address the issue and move forward more equipped to tackle the next conflict as a unit. Think about your own graveyard at work or at home, is yours bursting at the seams? Recently the team at Vital Smarts shared a video where they declared the health of an organization could be 

tied directly to the length of time it takes them to address conflicts. 

Part of the reason we all have a graveyard is that emotion is one of hardest things for our body to process, and we decide....that it is safer to bury it. The challenge is that conflicts don’t dissolve, they fester.  Situations arise where the old emotions reappear in an instant, and then everyone around you sits back to watch you squirm, or better yet give them a front row seat to a fireworks show. Building a conversational tool kit to manage these conflicts is one of the most empowering and career advancing things you can do for your team. It will also save your team hundreds of hours that aren’t wasted with people talking about the latest battle, or from people working at half speed dealing with the emotions in their heads. 

So look at your own conversational graveyard, and think about the story that is in your head with respect to the other party. Consider setting a goal of addressing it in the next week. Like a big project that is finished, a conflict resolved can be one of the most re-energizing feelings in the world, if you want some help, send us an email and we will share some tips we have learned that make tough conversations a little easier.

More topics on improving yourself?  Read our post on Productive Solitude.